XM@$ - Corey Taylor
Intro
E A E F E
Ao Ao Ao Ho!
E
E A F E
There ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree
E A F E
Gussied up with candy canes and balls
A E
Those carollers have kept me up for hours
B B A F# E
It's Merry Christmas seeping through my walls
E A F E
Now I'm no Wiccan commie nut or nothing
A
But there's one damn holiday that I can't stand
E E D# C#
It ain't Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools
A B E
But it'll surely make a fool out of every man
HA!
Chorus
A
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
E A B E
You know where to stick those jingle bells
F
If I ain't hammered it ain't Hanukkah
E A B E
And all you motherfuckers go to hell
A
If I ain't cockeyed it ain’t Kwanza
E A B E
Joy to the world and jack and coke
F
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
F
Cause I ain’t ever anything but broke
E A E F E
Verse
E A F E
Now every year the malls are just a madhouse
E A F E
Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles
A E
Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit
B B A F# E
And those coloured lights are fucking infantile
E A F D#
I think we collectively as a people
E A F E
Should rise against this corporate jolly noise
And tell the world:
E E D# C#
"Let's buy some peace and quiet for a change"
A B E A F
Before we spend it all on fucking toys.
HA
Chorus
A
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
E A B E
You know where to stick those jingle bells
F
If I ain't hammered it ain't Hanukkah
F (stop) E A B E
Fa la la la la go fuck yourself!
A
If I ain't cockeyed it ain’t Kwanza
E A B E
Joy to the world of getting stoned
F
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
F
So leave this god damn scrooge the fuck alone.
E End with: D# E
HA
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!