Important!
This is not the version found in the credits to Valve's game Portal, that is in the key
D. This is Jonathan Coulton's version in the key of A, when you see him play it live, or
all for that matter, it is in A.
I will go over both ways to play this version.
First is the capoed version with any standard capo on the seventh fret. This is the
pattern for the verse, rinse and repeat as many times as necessary. With capo the chords
D and Bm.
e|----------9--------------9----------|
B|------10-----10------10-----10------|
G|---9-------------11-------------9---|
D|------------------------------------|
A|------------------------------------|
E|------------------------------------|
Bm D Bm D
This was a triumph
Bm D Bm D Bm
I’m making a note here: huge success
Em A D Bm D
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction
Bm D Bm D
Aperture Science
Bm D Bm D Bm
We do what we must because we can
Em A
For the good of all of us
BbM7
Except the ones who are dead
F C Bb F
But there’s no sense crying over every mistake
F C Bb F
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
Gm C F Dm*
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
B A D Bm D
For the people who are still alive
Bm D Bm D
I’m not even angry
Bm D Bm D Bm
I’m being so sincere right now
Em A D Bm D
Even though you broke my heart and killed me
Bm D Bm D
And tore me to pieces
Bm D Bm D Bm
And threw every piece into a fire
Em A
As they burned it hurt because
BbM7
I was so happy for you
F C Bb F
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
F C Bb F
And we’re out of beta, we’re releasing on time
Gm C F Dm*
So I’m glad I got burned, think of all the things we learned
B A D Bm D
For the people who are still alive
Bm D Bm D
Go ahead and leave me
Bm D Bm D Bm
I think I’d prefer to stay inside
Em A D Bm D
Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you
Bm D Bm D
Maybe Black Mesa
Bm D Bm D Bm
That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance
Em A
Anyway this cake is great
BbM7
It’s so delicious and moist
F C Bb F
Look at me still talking when there’s science to do
F C Bb F
When I look out there it makes me glad I’m not you
Gm C F Dm*
I’ve experiments to run, there is research to be done
B A D Bm D
On the people who are still alive
Bm D Bm D
And believe me I am still alive
Bm D Bm D
I’m doing science and I’m still alive
Bm D Bm D
I feel fantastic and I’m still alive
Bm D Bm D
And while you’re dying I’ll be still alive
Bm D Bm D
And when you’re dead I will be still alive
D Bm
Still alive
D Bm
Still alive
The second version can be played sans capo using open chords, but is slightly harder.
capo the verse is played using A and F#.
e|--------------------------------|
B|---------2------------2---------|
G|------2-----2------2-----2------|
D|---2-----------4------------2---|
A|--------------------------------|
E|--------------------------------|
A F#m A
This was a triumph
F#m A F#m A F#m
I’m making a note here: huge success
Bm E A F#m A
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction
F#m A F#m A
Aperture Science
F#m A F#m A F#m
We do what we must because we can
Bm E
For the good of all of us
FM7
Except the ones who are dead
C G F C
But there’s no sense crying over every mistake
C G F C
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
Dm G C Am*
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
F E A F#m A
For the people who are still alive
F#m A F#m A
I’m not even angry
F#m A F#m A F#m
I’m being so sincere right now
Bm E A F#m A
Even though you broke my heart and killed me
F#m A F#m A
And tore me to pieces
F#m A F#m A F#m
And threw every piece into a fire
Bm E
As they burned it hurt because
FM7
I was so happy for you
C G F C
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
C G F C
And we’re out of beta, we’re releasing on time
Dm G C Am*
So I’m glad I got burned, think of all the things we learned
F E A F#m A
For the people who are still alive
F#m A F#m A
Go ahead and leave me
F#m A F#m A F#m
I think I’d prefer to stay inside
Bm E A F#m A
Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you
F#m A F#m A
Maybe Black Mesa
F#m A F#m A F#m
That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance
Bm E
Anyway this cake is great
FM7
It’s so delicious and moist
C G F C
Look at me still talking when there’s science to do
C G F C
When I look out there it makes me glad I’m not you
Dm G C Am*
I’ve experiments to run, there is research to be done
F E A F#m A
On the people who are still alive
F#m A F#m A
And believe me I am still alive
F#m A F#m A
I’m doing science and I’m still alive
F#m A F#m A
I feel fantastic and I’m still alive
F#m A F#m A
And while you’re dying I’ll be still alive
F#m A F#m A
And when you’re dead I will be still alive
A F#m
Still alive
A F#m
Still alive
Before each chord with an asterisk [*], it adds a good effect if you strum open once
the chord before the asterisk chord, which will be either a Dm or an Am depending on the version.