This entire song is spoken(and yelled in the CAPS section). Alternate bass notes are used throughout with
simple bass notes leading into the G(d-e-f#-G) and C(g-a-b-C) chord changes.
[Verse]
G
Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas
C
Was drinkin' Colorado Cool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans
D
An' we was, what's that you say?
G
What's Colorado Cool-Aid?
G
Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream
C
It'll set your head on fire an' make your kidneys scream
D
Oh, it sure is fine
G
Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times
G
But you know just as sure as any beer joint you've ever been in
C
There's some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friends
D
Yeah, he wants to fight
G
He's gonna whip everything in sight
G
Well, he took him a big cold swallow of beer
C
And he walked over and spit in my Mexican friends ear
D
Sure enough - that made my buddy real mad
G
That's somethin' like he ain't never had
G
Well, Sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife
C
Quick as a whistle he began to slice
D
That big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears
G
Lookin' down at the floor, at one of his ears
G
Ha, he cut that thing off even with the sideburns
C
Well, ya might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a dern
D
But he was a gentleman about it - An' bent over and with a half way grin
G
Picked it up and handed it back to him
G
He said, "Now big man, the next time you get the urge to spit a little beer
C
You just open up your hand there and spit it in your own ear
D
Won't be no trouble that way", that's what I heard him say
G
And I said, "Barmaid,
G
set us up
C
a round of that Colorado Cool-Aid
D
And while you're up there, bring this big fella here, a box of Bandaids"
G
Now let me tell you
G
if you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas
C
And you decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Cool-Aid
D
An' maybe talk to some Mexicans
G
An' you get the urge to get a little tough
G
Better make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muffs
C
Hey, ain't that right, big man?
D
I SAID, AIN'T THAT RIGHT, BIG MAN?
G
Ah, hell - he can't hear,
G
not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear!
C
Hey barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Cool-Aid
D
How about it?
G
How you doin' there, big man? Still got your ear there in your hand?