Dm
Narrator Somewhere deep in the slow
eternal dance of the heavens drifts a
planet called simply Earth
And among the otherwise unremarkable population
of this planet are two incredible
heroes destined to save the future from itself
A Dm G C
( F A#sus2 C )x4
Danny Sexbang Hey Ninja Brian
I made a time machine spaceship
You wanna go on it
Ninja Brian
Dan Yeah okay cool
Gm F
Soaring through the galaxy
C
the stars and sky align
Gm F
The speed of light's for pussies
D#
we're going at the speed of Brian
Gm F
Flying towards the sexual peak
C
of history and time
C# A# C F# F
Dan Computer set a sexy course
for the sexiest year Uhn
F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine
F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine
F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine I've got my space suit
F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine And ninety pounds of space lube
C#
Crossing through into a fuckin' wormhole
beyond the Milky Way
D# C#
That shit's far
To a time of Earth so far into the future
where everyone gets laid
D# C#
Twice as hard
D
We're noble knights of honor
on a fierce and sultry butt crusade
E D
Here we are
A Dm G C F A#sus2 C
Open the bay doors and let's live the dream
F A#sus2 C
Give the world a double team
F A#sus2 C
I bet it's a billion person orgy
F A#sus2 C
in an ocean of whipped cream
Cm A# F A#
Wait this place isn't sexy at all
And this robot sign says human touch has been outlawed
Cm A# Fm
I can't believe my eyes but it's a world without sex
A# Cm A#
Everyone here just wears full-length pants
F
and loose fitting turtlenecks
D# F Gm
Men and women wave to each other
A#m D#
from a respectable distance
D# F Gm A#m D#
Without the thrill of boning what is life
D# F Gm A#m Gm
We must speak to the Council of Dick Elders tonight
D#
Dan Excuse me Dick Elders
F
Dick Elder What do you want
Gm D# F
Dan I know it's most unusual to come before you so
Gm D#
But the planet Earth sucks balls
F
now that no one's allowed to bone
Gm D#
We've come from the past to introduce you to ass
F
Dick Elder Wait You're Ninja Sex Party
You will ruin our plans
Gm
Guards Sound the alarms
If people have sex
they'll break a thousand-year spell
There'll be a revolution
and they'll think for themselves
We control this planet of unsatisfied wood
Why does being evil always feel so damn good
A Dm G C F A#sus2 C
Dan Fuck that bullshit we'll make it right
F A#sus2 C
Get ready for a sexy fight
F A#sus2 C
My dick's the spark of hope
F A#sus2 C
and a revolution shall ignite
Gm
tonight
F C
We're taking flight we have to find a girl
Gm
Dick Elder Shoot the fucking lasers
Shoot the fucking lasers at 'em
Gm F
Dan Show her what it means to love
D#
and fix this broken world
Gm
Dick Elder All the fucking lasers
All the fucking lasers at 'em
Gm F
[Dan:] A new sex king will rule;
C
let the boner banners be unfurled
C# A# C F# F
Dan Ninja Brian look at that girl
with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair
I'm immediately in love
F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine She spent a life all alone
F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine Wanna take her to the bone zone
F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine Make her feel the pleasure
F A#sus2 C Cm
Sixty-nine On a lonely treasure
A# F
Cm A#
I can't believe my eyes
F
but you're the girl of my dreams
Cm A#
Let's both tear all of our clothes off
Fm
like two pants-hating wolverines
Cm A#
The love we make will save the Earth
F
from this oppressive dick regime
D# F Gm
A#m
We're having sex now
D# F Gm
n.c
To change the world
D# F Gm
A#m
You brought your friends now
D# F Gm
n.c
Oh shit they're girls
Cm A#
I think it's obvious
F
that people liked our sexy show
Cm A#
A multi-billion person orgy
Fm
has broken out all across the globe
Cm A#
The human race much like my junk
F
will now be free to grow let's go
D# F Gm
A#m
But what about the Elders
D# F Gm
n.c
We tore their world to shreds
D# F Gm
A#m
Maybe they'll be cool with it
D# F Gm
Dan Oh hey Dick Elders How's it goin'
Gm
Dick Elder You two are fucking dead
D# F
Dan So much for that it's time to put on pants
Gm D#
And run away from their Death Army
F
which is starting to advance
Gm
Dick Elder Shoot the fuckin' lasers
Way more fuckin' lasers at 'em
Gm D#
Dan We can't die we're way too young
F
And there are so many girls to bone
Gm
Dick Elder Shoot the fuckin' lasers
Way more fuckin' lasers at 'em
Gm D#
Dan But now we're cornered
F
with our backs against the wall
Gm
Dick Elder It's all over Danny Sexbang
Your time has come
But first we're gonna take care
of your ninja friend here
/Slash/
Dick Elder Aaaaaaarghhhhh
A Dm G C F A#sus2 C
Dan Goddamn Brian you killed them all
F A#sus2 C
Now the empire will fall
F A#sus2 C
I have to say in retrospect
F A#sus2 C
that was easier than I thought
Gm
oh yeah
F C
Our work here's done the future is secure
Gm F
But my girl and I have one last farewell
D#
slam just to be sure
Gm F
For underneath those rockin' boobs
C
lies a heart that is so pure
C# A# C F# F
Dan Take care of this world for me my darling
I will always love you
What is your name by the way
( F A#sus2 C )x4
Kristen Ah a beautiful name
Until that glorious day when we meet again
Katie farewell
F A#sus2 C F A#sus2 C
Now let us fly into the night sky
F A#sus2 C F A#sus2 C
And we'll raise a glass to ass in a final goodbye
F A#sus2 C F A#sus2 C
To sixty-nine sixty-nine
F A#sus2 C F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine sixty-nine
F A#sus2 C
(Sixty-nine)
Let us be gone
F A#sus2 C
(Sixty-nine)
Our quest is life-long
F A#sus2 C
(Sixty-nine)
It's a sexy destiny
F A#sus2 C
(Sixty-nine)
so let's rock the fuck on
F A#sus2 C F A#sus2 C
Sixty-nine sixty-nine
( F A#sus2 C )x2
G
F
Fuck yeah
G
F
Fuck yeah