Em Am
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
B7 Em
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
Em Am
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
B7 Em
they were first divorced throwin her over furniture
Em Am
It's the return of the Ah wait no way you're kidding
B7 Em
he didn't just say what I think he did did he
Em Am
And Dr Dre said nothing you idiots
B7 Em
Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my basement Ha-ha
Em Am
Feminist women love Eminem
B7
chigga chigga chigga
Em
Slim Shady I'm sick of him look at him
Em Am
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
B7 Em
Flippin the you-know-who Yeah but he's so cute though
Em Am
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
B7 Em
But no worse than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Em Am B7
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose but can't
Em
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
Em Am
My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
B7 Em
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
Em Am
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
B7 Em
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Em Am
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
B7
By the time they hit fourth grade
Em
They got the Discovery Channel don't they
Em Am B7
We ain't nothing but mammals Well some of us cannibals
Em
who cut other people open like cantaloupes
Em Am
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
B7 Em
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
Em Am
EWWW But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
B7 Em
Women wave your pantyhose sing the chorus and it goes
Em Am
Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady
B7 Em
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
Em Am
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
B7 Em
please stand up please stand up
Em Am
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
B7 Em
well I do so fuck him and fuck you too
Em Am
You think I give a damn about a Grammy
B7 Em
Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
Em Am
But Slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird
B7 Em
Why So you guys could just lie to get me here
Em Am
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
B7 Em
Shit Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
Em Am
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
B7 Em
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Em Am
You little bitch put me on blast on MTV
B7 Em
Yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim hee-hee
Em Am
I should download her audio on MP3
B7 Em
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD AHHH
Em Am B7
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
Em
so I have been sent here to destroy you bzzzt
Em Am
And there's a million of us just like me
B7 Em
who cuss like me who just don't give a fuck like me
Em Am
who dress like me walk talk and act like me
B7 Em
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me
[Chorus]
Em Am
I'm like a head trip to listen to cause I'm only givin you
B7 Em
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
Em Am
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
B7 Em
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
Em Am
I just get on the mic and spit it
B7 Em
and whether you like to admit it ERR I just shit it
Em Am
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
B7 Em
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
Em Am
It's funny cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
B7 Em
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Em Am
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
B7 Em
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
Em Am
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
B7 Em
He could be workin at Burger King spittin on your onion rings
Em Am
Or in the parkin lot circling
B7
Screaming I don't give a fuck
Em
with his windows down and his system up
Em Am
So will the real Shady please stand up
B7 Em
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
Em Am
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
B7 Em
and one more time loud as you can how does it go