David Frizzell - I'm Gonna Hire a Wino (To Decorate Our Home)
Intro
C F
I came crawling home last night, like many nights before:
C F C
I finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door.
F Am C
And she said, "You're not gonna do this anymore."
Chorus
C F
She said, "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
C G
So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't need to roam.
C F
We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
C G C
And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."
Verse 1
C F
She said “Just bring your Friday paycheck & I'll cash them all right here
C G
And I'll keep on tap for all your friends their favorite kinds of beer.
C F
And for you, I'll always keep in stock, those soft aluminum cans.
C G C
And when you're feeling macho, you can crush them like a man."
C F
She said, "We'll rip out all the carpet, and put sawdust on the floor.
C G
Serve hard boiled eggs and pretzels, and I won't cook no more.
C F
There'll be Monday night football, on T.V. above the bar.
C G C
And a pay phone in the hallway, when your friends can't find their car."
Chorus
D G
She said, "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
D A
So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't need to roam.
D G
We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
D A D
And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."
Verse 2
D G
She said, "You'll get friendly service, and for added atmosphere.
D A
I'll slip on something sexy, and I'll cut it clear to here.
D G
Then you can slap my bottom, every time you tell a joke.
D A D
Just as long as you keep tipping, well, I'll laugh until you're broke."
D G
She said, "Instead of family quarrels, we'll have a bar-room brawl,
D A
When the Ham's bear say's its closing time, you won't have far to crawl.
D G
And when you run out of money, you'll have me to thank.
D A D
You can sleep it off next morning, when I'm putting it in the bank."
Chorus
E A
She said, "I'm gonna' hire a wino, to decorate our home,
E B7
So you can feel more at ease here, and you won't have to roam. Then
E A
When you and your friends get off from work, and have a powerful thirst.
E B7 E
There won't be any reason, why you can't stop off here first."
F# B
She said, "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
F# C#
So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't need to roam.
F# B
We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
F# C# F#
And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall."
F# B
She said, "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home,
F# C#
So you'll feel more at ease here, and you won't need to roam.
F# B
We'll take out the dining room table, and put a bar... (fade out)