The Higher Education of Ole Blue
written by C.W. Kalb, Jr.
Album: "Classic Ray Stevens"
[Intro]
C G7 F C
[Verse]
C
Well my daddy was a backwoods self-made type
F
Never went to school, couldn't read nor write
C G7
But made a fortune sellin' hogs, and was suspicious of education
C
So when I told him I was goin' off to scool
F
He said "well you listen to me you dumb cityfied fool
C G7 C
So don't expect no help from me son, and no financial remineration"
G C
Now my dad was tight but he loved his dogs, that's true
D7 G
Yeah and his favorite of the pack was called Ole Blue
C
So I called my dad when I got to college
F
I said "Dad I know you don't think much of human knowledge
C G7
But they got a course down here where they can teach dogs to speak, yeah
C
Now I don't mean speak like bark for a bone
F
Nah they say these dogs can carry on
C G7 C
An intelligent conversation and some even go on to teach, yeah
G C
And when I heard of that course of course I thought of you
D7 G
And how great it'd be for you to sit and talk to Ole Blue"
C
Well the line fell silent and I thought all was lost
F
But he finally spoke up said "what's that cost?"
C G7
I said "Dad it's a bargain at five thousand per semester"
C
Well he didn't balk and he didn't complain
F
'n Ole Blue showed up on the very next train
C G7 C
And that's how my dad became the priority investor
[Chorus]
C F C
In the higher education of Ole Blue
D7 G
A story that if it's not at all to be true
C7 F
About a fiscal windfall situation of my very own creation
C Am C G C
The inspiration that I call the education of Ole Blue
C
And the money just kept on rollin' in, ha ha ha
C
For 8 semesters, forty thousand dollars, woo!
C
Well all too soon time to graduate
F
The day had dawned I'd come to hate
C G7
The day I had to go home and face my dad
C
When I stepped off the train he said "where's Ole Blue?
F
Phew! Phew! Phew! boy come here I wanna talk to you!
C G7 C
And I swallowed hard and said Pop I've got some news and I'm 'fraid it's bad
G
You see comin' home on the train Ole Blue was smokin' his pipe
C
And readin' the New York Times
D7
When he took off his glasses, looked over and said
G
'Boy are you aware of all your daddy's crimes?'
C
"Then he said 'he's a mass murderer just ask Denny Hog
F
And he's treated my mama just like a dog
C G7
And rubbed my nose in stuff you wouldn't believe, made me sleep on the hard cold ground
C
But I can talk now and his days are through
F
'Cause I'm gonna tell your mama a thing or two
C G7 C
About his secret drinkin' habits, yeah and his affair with the Widow Brown'
G C
And when I heard Blue says those things Pop, somethin' snapped inside my brain
D7 G
So I grabbed him up and I strangled him and I throwed him off the train, yeah"
C
Well my dad looked at me his eyes ablaze
F
And his face contorted like somebody crazed
C G7
And it didn't look like he'd believed a word I'd said
C
Then he grabbed my coat, pulled me up real close
F N/C
Said "boy there's just one thing I wanna know
C G7 C
Are you real sure that no-good lyin' fleabag is dead?", and that's
[Chorus]
C Am C G C F G C
The inspiration that I call the education of Ole Blue