A Simple Desultory Philippic
(How I Was Lyndon Johnsoned Into Submission)
Words & music bu Paul Simon 1965
[Verse 1]
G Bb
I was Union Jacked, Kerouac'd
C Eb
John Birched, stopped and searched
G A7 C D
Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
G Bb
I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
C Eb
Communist 'cos I'm lefthanded:
G A7 G C Eb G G C Eb G G
That's the hand they use, well, never mind!
[Verse 2]
G Bb
I've been Walt Disneyed, Dis Disleyed
C Eb
John Lennoned, Krishna Menoned
G A7 C D
Walter Brennan punched out Cassius Clay
G Bb
I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce
C Eb
and all my wealth won't buy me health
G D G C Eb G G C Eb G G
So I smoke a pint of tea a day
[Verse 3]
F
I knew a man his brain so small,
G
He couldn't think of nothin' at all.
C
He's not the same as you and me.
F
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
G C
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas,
Whoever he is.
F G
The man ain't got no culture,
But its alright, Ma,
C
It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England.
[Verse 4]
G Bb
I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced
C Eb
Mick Jaggered, silver daggered
G A7 D
Andy Warhol won't you please come home?
G Bb
I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled
C Eb
Tom Wilsoned, Art Garfunkled
G A7 G
Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone
G Bb
When in London, do as I do
C Eb
Find yourself a friendly haiku
G D G
Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years