Verse 1:
E
All my days
G D E
I live with my disgrace
G D E
I'm afraid to show my face
G D C
Or at least take off my underwear
E
See I was born
G D E
Like a half way neutered pet
G D E
I don't have a matching set
G D
It's a part of me
C
That just aint there
Please don't stare
Chorus
E G
Well I'm a gambling man with out two dice
E G
I'm like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
E G
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
D C E
But I'm half a man
D C E
Yeah I'm half a man
Verse2
E
Wanna die
G D E
end it all just call it quits
G D E
I can't find a cup that fits
G D C
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
C
When I hear ball one
E
Oh my God
G D E
How could you have been so cruel
G D E
To give me one family jewel
G D C
And the one that's there must feel so sad
C
He's a lonely nad
Chorus 2
E G
Well I'm a marathon runner with just one leg
E G
I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
E
Oh I want another testi
G
Do I have to beg
D C E
I'm half a man
D C E
Yeah im half a man
Bridge
E..G...E...G...E...G...D...C
kinda like chorus
Chorus 3
E G
Well I'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
E G
And I'm a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
E G
And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
D C E
I'm just half a man
D C E
Yeah I'm half a man