[Verse 1]
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Me and my buddy got us a wild hair
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And figured we wanted to go somewhere
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So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet
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We had a little bit of money
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And a whole lot of show
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And with Hank Jr. blaring on the radio
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We got us a tank full of gas
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And we was on our way
[Verse 2]
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We figured we'd go down to New Orleans
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We were barrelling down old 17
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When a man with a blinking red light
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Was on our tail
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He said you were doing 60 in a 45
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But I'm gonna let you go this time
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But if I catch you again
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I'm gonna slap you in the county jail
[Verse 3]
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We said thank you sir you sure been nice
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And you ain't gonna have to tell us twice
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And we were Southbound and down with the wind
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Blowing in our faces
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We kept on rolling and pretty soon
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The radio was cooking out a Haggard tune
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And we were pulling into Houston
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Checking out all them places
[Verse 4]
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I was feeling dry and I said I think
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We ought to stop and get ourselves a drink
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And old Jim said yeah 'cause we got time to kill
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We kept on rolling and I seen this spot
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And we pulled into the parking lot
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Of this place called the Cloud Nine Bar and Grill
[Verse 5]
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We walked through the door
And the place was jammed
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The lights were low they had a punk rock band
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And some orange haired feller singing about suicide
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I said Jim this ain't our kind of place
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He said well let's just have one round anyway
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So against my better judgement we walked on inside
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Went up to the bar and we sat down
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This feller walked up and said I'll buy this round
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And he sat down on the barstool next to Jim
[Verse 6]
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He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy
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He had lipstick on and mascara in his eyes
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And everybody in that place looked just about like him
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I said Jim this ain't our kind of bar
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Let's just go on out and get back in the car
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'Cause there's gonna be trouble
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Ain't no sense in taking a chance
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We was getting up getting ready to leave
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When somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve
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And this good looking girl was asking my buddy to dance
[Verse 7]
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I said Jim don't do it there's something missing
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There's fellers dancing and fellers kissing
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There's a feller in high heeled shoes wearing panty hose
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He said partner I just can't turn this down
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You just go over there and have one more round
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And I'll dance with the lady
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And we'll get on down the road
[Verse 8]
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So he walked away and left me alone
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But this funny looking feller kept coming on
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And he was making me mad with some of the things he said
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Then he put his hand on my knee
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I said if you don't get your paw off me
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I'm gonna locate your nose around
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The other side of your head
[Verse 9]
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He said I love it when you get that fire in your eye
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I said well partner try this on for size
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And I unloaded on him and he went out like a light
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Everybody in that place must have been his friend
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They all headed for me I said this is the end
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But where I come from we don't give up
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Without a fight
[Verse 10]
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They were screaming and yelling and scratching and clawing
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I was punching and hitting and kicking and pawing
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I was holding my own 'cause I've been in a scrap or two
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Old Jim come running up out of the blue
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And that gal he was with come running up too
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And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe
[Verse 11]
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I grabbed her by the hair it came off in my hand
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And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man
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And old Jim just got sick right there on the floor
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He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun
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Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run
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And me and old Jim started fighting our way to the door
[Verse 12]
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We lit out of there in that Chevrolet
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I put in on the floor and it stayed that way
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We were going down the highway
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Doing about a hundred and ten
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We were headed for home and we was getting nearer
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Then a red light came on the rear view mirror
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And that same blame cop was pulling us over again
[Verse 13]
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Now I'm sitting here in this county jail
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I had to call my daddy to go our bail
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But I learned me a lesson
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That I never will forget again
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I've done give up drinking I've give up bars
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And running around the country in souped up cars
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To be back where the women are women
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And the men are men