This song is about a problem that I have
C6 C6 D D C6 C6 D C6 D
C6 C6 D D C6
Frequently
C6 C6 D D C6 C6 D C6 D
C6 C6 D D
A7
Dm7 F7sus2
There are three three three kinds of erections
A#
Some are sexual
Csus /Ab
Some occur during periods of nervous tension
Dm7
But there's a mysterious third kind
F7sus2
That no one really understands
A#
It happens when your shlong decides
Csus /Ab
To take matters into its own hands
C6
No reason boner
Dm7
No reason boner
F7sus2 Csus2/Ab
It baffles scientists
Am
No reason boner
A7
Dm7
This morning I was having breakfast
F7sus2
At the Midtown diner
A#
The bagel was delicious
Csus /Ab
And the coleslaw couldn't be finer
Dm7
I got a weird look from the waitress
F7sus2
When I asked her for the check
A#
I looked down and realized
Csus /Ab
I was one hundred percent erect
C6
No reason boner
Dm7
No reason boner
F7sus2 Csus2/Ab
I like coleslaw but not that much
Am
No reason boner
A#
Mailman Hi Welcome to the post office
Danny Thanks I just need to mail this package
Mailman No problem just place it on the scale
Danny Sure thing
B
Oh Oh god I I can't right now
Mailman Why not
Danny I I have to go
I have a uh
doctor's appointment at the dentist's
A7
Dm7
Now things are a little awkward
F7sus2
Between my mailman and I
A#
That was not my best lie
Csus /Ab
I was just covering up for my
C6
No reason boner
Dm7
No reason boner
F7sus2 Csus2/Ab
That was the wrong kind of package to mail
Am
No reason boner
A#
Zookeeper Hi Welcome to the zoo
Danny Great I love the zoo
Look at all those monkeys
Zookeeper Actually
those technically aren't monkeys
they're macaques
B
Danny Wow Macaque's really hairy
Danny Uh So what time does the zoo close
Zookeeper About eight o'clock
C
Danny Great That gives me a chance t- Oh god
Oh not not now Not in front of the children
A7
Why have you forsaken me lord
Dm7
This is no laughing matter
F7sus2
This is not some kind of game
A#
I can tuck away my Johnson
Csus /Ab
But I can never tuck away the shame
Dm7
It can happen anytime
F7sus2
It can happen anywhere
A#
When the Loch Ness Monster
Csus /Ab
Decides he wants to randomly come up for air
C6
No reason boner oh
Dm7
No reason boner
F7sus2 Csus2/Ab
You're ruining my life
Am F
No reason boner
Am F
No reason boner
Am F
No reason boner
F9 Am
Why....?
Boner