http://freespace.virgin.net/stephen.theobald/biggun.htm
D G D G
My mother said that I never should
A D
play with the naughty rude girls in the wood.
G D G
Their giggling talk I could never understand
A D
and that's when I fell in love with my right hand
and that's why
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
C G
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
D G
and I'm always pullin' my pud!
D G D G
I was 25 years old before I was kissed
A D
and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist
G D G
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD!
A D
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free!
and that's why
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
C G
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
D G
and I'm always pullin' my pud!
G C G
Oh, Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters,
C G D
thank you for having me and being oh so kind.
G C G
I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter.
C G D G
My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind.
D G D G
I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain
A D
I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train.
D G D G
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat
A D
an inflateable Linda Lovelegs and a Davy Crockett hat!
and that's why
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
C G
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
D G
and I'm always pullin' my pud!
G C G
Oh, Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters,
C G D
thank you for having me and being oh so kind.
G C G
I've got pains in my arms and my donkey's getting shorter.
C G D G
My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind.