C - F - Dm - G
then
e--1--3-1-3-1--1--3-1-3-1--1--3-1-3-1--3--|
B--1-----------1-----------3-----------0--|
G--0-----------2-----------2-----------0--|
D--2-----------3-----------------------0--|
A--3-----------------------------------2--|
E--------------------------------------3--|
C F
you're helpless, and hopeless
Dm G
you wanna help out the homeless
C F Dm G
but you've got problems
C F
you're selfish, and worthless
Dm G
and you have no fucking purpose
C F Dm G
you're a cancer-causing, cancer-having slob
Dm G C F Dm G C
whoa-oh whoa WHOOOAAAAA whoooaaaaa-ohhh-oooohhh
C F
there are morals that conflict with orals
Dm G
that conflict with anals that believe in angels
C F Dm G
angels are hating on you
C F
if good is the absence of evil
Dm G
and evil is the absence of good
C F
there is an axis of evil
Dm G
rolling into this neighborhood
Dm F
with the sound of gunshots
C E Am
bang! pow!! pswchh!!!
Dm G C Am Dm G C. G. Am. Dm G C
whoa-oh
C F
it was then that i found i am a vampire
Dm Am
i have fangs fucking 15 inches long
C F
the sanguinary sweetness of stealing someone's blood
Dm Am
feels so good i am compelled to sing this song
C F
and at night when i retire to my coffin
Dm Am
to sleep for a hundred years or more
C F
all you people that i know will have died long ago
Dm Am Am - F - C
and their children will have died ten years before
Dm G C G Am
whoaaaaa-oh. whooaa-oh-oh-ohhh