I worked this out by ear and if it's not 100% accurate then it's at least pretty damn close!
[Intro]:
C C
e|---X---0---X---0---|
B|---X---1---X---3p1-|
G|---X---0---X---0---|
D|---X---2---X---2---| x4
A|---X---3---X---3---|
E|---X-------X-------|
F F G G
e|---X---1---X---1---X---3---X---3---|
B|---X---1---X---1---X---3---X---3---|
G|---X---2---X---2---X---4---X---4---|
D|---X---3---X---3---X---5---X---5---|
A|---X---3---X---3---X---5---X---5---|
E|---X---1---X---1---X---3---X---3---|
[Verse]
C
I like telling dirty jokes,
C
and I like smoking crystal meth,
F G C
but darling I love you.
C
And I like laughing at retards,
C
and I like throwing rocks at dogs,
F G C
but darling I love you.
[Chorus]
F E
I love you like the moon and stars,
C F
when little kids get hit by cars,
F G C
girl you know its true.
F G C
Darling, I love you.
*play the intro again here*
[Verse]
C
I've been tryin' to move on,
C
since you left, since you've been gone,
F G C
but its so hard on me.
C
Talked to a girl in first hour,
C
bought her a cd, bought her a flower,
F G C
but she's a stupid cunt.
[Chorus]
F E
But I'll take anything,
C F
and I'll take anyone.
F E
I'll take an angry lesbian
C F
with a loaded gun.
F E
I'll take a whore with syphilis
C F
and gonorrhea too.
F G C
But darling, I love you.