(chords played on off-beats, change on each measure - 4/4, 200bpm)
Dm C Gm Bb
He told me that I knew just what to laugh at
Dm C Gm Bb
and I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back so
F G Bb
I could know for certain..
Dm C Gm Bb
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
Dm C Gm Bb
while doubling entendres with the voicings.
Dm C Gm Bb
He said, "Oh darling, you're charming, Please don't find it alarming if I
Dm C Gm Bb
pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting!"
F Bb
Now, there, there;
F Bb
I'm a friendly man.
F Bb F
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're
Dm C Gm Bb
frightened (ah, ah)
Dm C Gm Bb
(ah ah, ah ah)
Dm C Gm Bb
So silently I sat and turned the pages,
Dm C Gm Bb
recalculating our respective ages.
Dm C Gm Bb
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older, you can
Dm C Gm Bb
hack my wrists off with your choice of objects, no, I'm kidding"
F Bb
Don't be scared;
F Bb
I'm a friendly man.
F Bb F
I joke about death because it's funny when you're
Dm C Gm Bb
frightened (ah, ah)
Dm C Gm Bb
(ah ah, ah ah)
F Bbm F
This is as far as I could get.
Bb F
He jabbed a needle in my neck,
Bb F
erasing all the evidence,
Bb F
but there were matchsticks in my pants,
Bb F
and if a rock should hit my head
Bb F
and I remember what he did,
F F
you'll be the very first to know.
F F F
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding!
(break)
Dm C Gm Bb Dm C Gm Bb
Dm C Gm Bb
He told me that I showed a great potential,
Dm C Gm Bb
that given I turned heads and pages, fame would be a piece of cake
F G Bb
but practice was essential..
Dm C Gm Bb
So like a stupid child I believed it
Dm C Gm Bb
and golly, who would ever had agreed if
Dm C Gm Bb
I had been Schubert or Mozart, devoted to the fine art of
Dm C Gm Bb
perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential.
F Bb
Don't be sad;
F Bb
I'll come back again.
F Bb F
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be
Dm C Gm Bb
enlightened (ah, ah)
Dm C Gm Bb
(ah ah, ah ah)
F Bbm F
So several decades have gone by.
Bb F
I am still sitting by his side.
Bb F
I turn the pages faithfully.
Bb F
He turns his head and smiles at me
Bb F
and with a wink he says, "I doubt
F F
we would be anywhere without
F F F
your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting.."
(instrumental to end)