David Allan Coe
Linda Lovelace
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Well you can talk about your lovers and your backdoor pimps
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You can talk about your Hollywood fags
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If you wanna know the baddest m*********ker in the world
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Then I?m the greatest lover alive.
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Jackie Onassis was a snuff queen for me
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Before she ever got rich
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And it would take the average man a day and a half
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Just to satisfy that b***h.
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Why the Queen of England gave me the key
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To the whole damn country of France
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And it only took me fifteen minutes
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To get into her pants.
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Well I f**ked ?em all from coast to coast
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Cause honey that my bag
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In fact I?m the only man in the whole world
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That could make Linda Lovelace gag.
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Now it ain?t that my dick so God damn big
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Its just I know how to use it
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And I?ll never let some nickel-dime w***e
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Ever get the chance to abuse it.
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They can suck it for hours and hours on end
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But I?ll still be in control
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And I won?t cum till I wanna cum
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Cause that?s my jellyroll.
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Now there ain?t no woman no match for me
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I?ve had ?em try to wear me down
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I?ve f**ked them barmaids and bank clerks
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I even f**ked a circus clown.
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Teachers and lawyers, doctors
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And Lord them fat women sure are a drag
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I tell ya I?m the only m*********ker in the world
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That can make Linda Lovelace gag.
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Why Old Hairy Reams fell apart at the seams
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When he saw me f**k that w***e
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She sucked my dick swallowed my nuts
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And I still hollered for more.
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She sucked my a*****e she sucked my toes
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She?s the suckinest b***h alive
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Well I made her call up two more cunts
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And friend that ain?t no jive.
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She don?t give me know s**t
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About bein? some big time lover
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Some movie star with a jag
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Cause you ain?t s**t if you can?t get Linda Lovelace gag.
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I don?t talk about bein? no full time lover
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Cause mister that?s my bag
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I?m the only m*********ker in the damn world
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That can make Linda Lovelace gag.
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Take it boys.
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