Biography:
Dan Bern (aka Bernstein, a name under which he sometimes performs) is a guitarist, singer, songwriter, and painter. His music is often compared to that of Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie, Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello. His song "Talkin' Woody, Bob, Bruce, and Dan Blues," from the album Smartie Mine, offers a joking take on this influence, presented in the style of a Guthrie or Dylan talking blues song, and containing a spoof of a Dylan song as well.
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The lyrics just kinda flow, nearly conversationally. You'll have to listen to the recording a few times,
to get a good feel for how they go.
Lyrics from The Dan Bern Lyrics Archive
G
I was painting a still life this morning
Am
Of a throat lozenge sitting on a copy
Of Tropic of Cancer
C
The only thing weird about it
D
Is that a year ago,
G
I never thought I'd paint anything again
G
I decided I wasn't ever gonna paint again
Am
It didn't bother me too much
Warhol's dead,
C
David Hockney's still alive
D G
I don't need to paint
G
I painted over ten thousand paintings
Am
Sad ones, funny ones, dark ones, and light ones
C
I've done haystacks
D
And rich old ladies by their pools
G
Wearing nothing but a scarf
G
I've painted everything there was to paint
Am
Now it was time to sit back
C
Give interviews, get on the internet
D
Hang out at club med
G
Take stock of what I've done
G
You know, the best friend I ever had was a dog
Am
It sounds like a cliche unless it's happened to you
C D G
Some days that dog was the only reason I even got out of bed
G
That dog went everywhere with me
Am
And then I heard the crack addicts
Were stealin' dogs and selling them for animal research
C
It sounded like an urban myth to me
D
Like the mouse in the Coke bottle
G
But I started leavin' her at home after that
G
You know, Paula was my wife for a while
Am
She ran off to Paris with the great grandson of Van Gogh
C D G
A cartoonist who did fashion graphics for Le Monde
G
When Paula left she took my dog
Am
I never saw her again
Except in the court during the custody battle
C D
She won and got to keep the dog
G
And I didn't speak to anyone for months
G
You know sometimes it feels
Bm
Like there's so much that you need
C Bm G
Sometimes the world is upside down
G
Sometimes it feels
Bm
Like the only thing you need
C Bm Am C G
Is holdin' someone's hand as you walk through town
G
I started hanging around with Dino
Am
He used to run a poker game back east
C D
Now he sells cappuccino to his old pals
G
Tommy Chicago and Jimmy the Wig and Ugly Rose
G
You know the best person I ever knew
Am
Was a Mormon woman named Estelle
She still calls me drunk every few months
C D
And asks me stuff I don't want to talk about
G
You can't talk to her very long unless you're drunk yourself
G Am C D G
Then we go all night
G
She says, "Why baby, why baby, why baby, why
Am
Have you turned your back on love?
C
You had so many chances
D G
Why have you let 'em all go by?"
G
Well, one morning I was sitting in front of Dino's place
Am
with Jake the Shears, a guy from Philly
Who gives free mohawks
C
There were a couple of young painters
D
I was hopin' to come by
G
So I could give 'em some advice
G
Yeah, I was sittin' there updating my list of enemies
Am
When this girl walks in
And the universe kind of stops
C D
Turned out she drank the same tea as me
G
It don't take more than that to start a conversation sometimes
G
She believed collage was the greatest of all the arts
Am
And was busy pasting pictures of horses
C
Next to ads for laundry soap
D
Next to Mohammed Ali
G
She had a turquoise in her ear
G
And said Rachmaninoff was always in her head
Am
Later that day I was trying to describe her to Jimmy the Wig
C
I couldn't find any words
D G
And I realized I'd started to sketch her chin
G
Somehow it didn't look right
Am
I scratched it out and tried it again
C
I filled an entire pad
D G
I threw it away, I never even came close
G
For six days I sat at Dino's place
Am
The rain wouldn't quit and no one came in
C D
Finally on the seventh day it cleared
G
And in she walked
G
I asked her to sit with me
And I bought her a cup of tea
Am
And I asked her to model for me sometime
C
That afternoon I was at a canvas
D
She was wearing a yellow dress
G
I swore if she let me, I'd get it right
G
I've painted over ten thousand paintings
Am
Sad ones, funny ones, dark ones, and light ones
C D
But sitting there, it was like I couldn't even
G
Write my own name
G
I apologized and said, "It's been a few months
Am
If you have patience, I'll get the hang of it again"
C D G
In the next few weeks, I painted her hundreds of times
G
If I get the nose right, the chin's too long
Am
If I get 'em both right, the face is too thin
C D
But I keep after it and one day
G
I get it all right
[harmonica solo]
G Am C D G
G Am C D G
G
I painted a still life this morning
Am
Of a throat lozenge
sitting on a copy of Tropic of Cancer
C
The only thing that's funny
D
Is I never thought
G
I'd paint anything again
G
I think I might go visit Estelle
Am
Those Utah mountains are good for the soul
C
I'll bring my brushes
D
And some Jack Daniels
G
And we can make up for lost time
G
She said, "Why baby, why baby, why baby why?
Am
Have you turned your back on love
C
You had so many chances
D G
Why do you let 'em all go by?
G Am
Why baby, why baby, why baby why?
Have you turned your back on love
C
You had so many chances
D G
Why do you let 'em all go by?"
G Bm
Sometimes it seems like there's so much that you need
C Bm G
Sometimes the world is upside down
G Bm
Sometimes it seems like the only thing you need
C Bm Am C G
Is holdin' someone's hand as you walk through town
to get a good feel for how they go.
Lyrics from The Dan Bern Lyrics Archive
G
I was painting a still life this morning
Am
Of a throat lozenge sitting on a copy
Of Tropic of Cancer
C
The only thing weird about it
D
Is that a year ago,
G
I never thought I'd paint anything again
G
I decided I wasn't ever gonna paint again
Am
It didn't bother me too much
Warhol's dead,
C
David Hockney's still alive
D G
I don't need to paint
G
I painted over ten thousand paintings
Am
Sad ones, funny ones, dark ones, and light ones
C
I've done haystacks
D
And rich old ladies by their pools
G
Wearing nothing but a scarf
G
I've painted everything there was to paint
Am
Now it was time to sit back
C
Give interviews, get on the internet
D
Hang out at club med
G
Take stock of what I've done
G
You know, the best friend I ever had was a dog
Am
It sounds like a cliche unless it's happened to you
C D G
Some days that dog was the only reason I even got out of bed
G
That dog went everywhere with me
Am
And then I heard the crack addicts
Were stealin' dogs and selling them for animal research
C
It sounded like an urban myth to me
D
Like the mouse in the Coke bottle
G
But I started leavin' her at home after that
G
You know, Paula was my wife for a while
Am
She ran off to Paris with the great grandson of Van Gogh
C D G
A cartoonist who did fashion graphics for Le Monde
G
When Paula left she took my dog
Am
I never saw her again
Except in the court during the custody battle
C D
She won and got to keep the dog
G
And I didn't speak to anyone for months
G
You know sometimes it feels
Bm
Like there's so much that you need
C Bm G
Sometimes the world is upside down
G
Sometimes it feels
Bm
Like the only thing you need
C Bm Am C G
Is holdin' someone's hand as you walk through town
G
I started hanging around with Dino
Am
He used to run a poker game back east
C D
Now he sells cappuccino to his old pals
G
Tommy Chicago and Jimmy the Wig and Ugly Rose
G
You know the best person I ever knew
Am
Was a Mormon woman named Estelle
She still calls me drunk every few months
C D
And asks me stuff I don't want to talk about
G
You can't talk to her very long unless you're drunk yourself
G Am C D G
Then we go all night
G
She says, "Why baby, why baby, why baby, why
Am
Have you turned your back on love?
C
You had so many chances
D G
Why have you let 'em all go by?"
G
Well, one morning I was sitting in front of Dino's place
Am
with Jake the Shears, a guy from Philly
Who gives free mohawks
C
There were a couple of young painters
D
I was hopin' to come by
G
So I could give 'em some advice
G
Yeah, I was sittin' there updating my list of enemies
Am
When this girl walks in
And the universe kind of stops
C D
Turned out she drank the same tea as me
G
It don't take more than that to start a conversation sometimes
G
She believed collage was the greatest of all the arts
Am
And was busy pasting pictures of horses
C
Next to ads for laundry soap
D
Next to Mohammed Ali
G
She had a turquoise in her ear
G
And said Rachmaninoff was always in her head
Am
Later that day I was trying to describe her to Jimmy the Wig
C
I couldn't find any words
D G
And I realized I'd started to sketch her chin
G
Somehow it didn't look right
Am
I scratched it out and tried it again
C
I filled an entire pad
D G
I threw it away, I never even came close
G
For six days I sat at Dino's place
Am
The rain wouldn't quit and no one came in
C D
Finally on the seventh day it cleared
G
And in she walked
G
I asked her to sit with me
And I bought her a cup of tea
Am
And I asked her to model for me sometime
C
That afternoon I was at a canvas
D
She was wearing a yellow dress
G
I swore if she let me, I'd get it right
G
I've painted over ten thousand paintings
Am
Sad ones, funny ones, dark ones, and light ones
C D
But sitting there, it was like I couldn't even
G
Write my own name
G
I apologized and said, "It's been a few months
Am
If you have patience, I'll get the hang of it again"
C D G
In the next few weeks, I painted her hundreds of times
G
If I get the nose right, the chin's too long
Am
If I get 'em both right, the face is too thin
C D
But I keep after it and one day
G
I get it all right
[harmonica solo]
G Am C D G
G Am C D G
G
I painted a still life this morning
Am
Of a throat lozenge
sitting on a copy of Tropic of Cancer
C
The only thing that's funny
D
Is I never thought
G
I'd paint anything again
G
I think I might go visit Estelle
Am
Those Utah mountains are good for the soul
C
I'll bring my brushes
D
And some Jack Daniels
G
And we can make up for lost time
G
She said, "Why baby, why baby, why baby why?
Am
Have you turned your back on love
C
You had so many chances
D G
Why do you let 'em all go by?
G Am
Why baby, why baby, why baby why?
Have you turned your back on love
C
You had so many chances
D G
Why do you let 'em all go by?"
G Bm
Sometimes it seems like there's so much that you need
C Bm G
Sometimes the world is upside down
G Bm
Sometimes it seems like the only thing you need
C Bm Am C G
Is holdin' someone's hand as you walk through town
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