Lonesome Kicker Mike
By: Adam Sandler
What's Your Name?
E5 B5 A5 C#5
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Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
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Extra points, field goals at your service
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One might think it comes with glory
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You might think different after you listen to my story
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My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
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What it possibly could protect, I do not know
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The other guys on the team like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
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And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow
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People think it's so easy to kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
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They forget to add seven yards for the snap, and 10 more 'cause the
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Goal posts are pushed way back
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In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
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But some of the players were running into them, and getting hurt
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So screw the kicker... Who cares about the kicker?
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But I kick that ball, and I pray it goes straight
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If it does the coach says "Good job, number 8"
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He doesn't even know my name is Andre Grisumcovitchlavinski, Jr.
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But that's the life I live... The Lonesome Kicker
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Kickoffs can be so very scary
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Especially, if the returner breaks on through
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And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
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I don't want to get hurt, so I pretend to tie my shoe
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Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
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"Go back where you came from!" Scream 70,000 fans
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Well, I know I could win their love back by catching a winning
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Touch-down
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But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands
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And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
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Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
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As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
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And the splinters go deep in my thighs
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And the towel boy snickers as he walks by...The Lonesome Kicker
A5 B5 Another blocked kick
A5 B5 and everybody blames me
A5 B5 But it was the Left Guard
A5 B5 Who didn't pick up his man
A5 B5 Oh, why can't they see...?
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In my home country, I could have been a minor league soccer player
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But I came to America seeking fortune and seeking fame
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I didn't realize that if I shanked one, and blew the point spread
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Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi after the game.
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So I go home at night, cause I never get invited
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To go drinking with the other guys
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And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
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As I eat a plate of cold French fries
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And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
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And my son can't look me in the eyes
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But that's the life I live...The Lonesome Kicker
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Kicking for you
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They took my snow shoe
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They're going for two... (strum) A5 B5 E5