Intro
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Verse
C Dm
It's funny how some fables became historic
G Am
When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric
F C
But people will believe anything if it's written
Dm G
Especially in stone or ancient scroll
C Dm
December 25th has been blacklisted
G Am
Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed
C F
It was the last thing anyone ever expected
G
Xmas has been X'd
Chorus
C F
No colored lights, no shopping sprees
G C
No more presents under dead trees
Am F
St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve
G C
We celebrate the last Christmas Eve
Verse
C Dm
Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic
G Am
Protestants increasingly become agnostic
F C
Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams
Dm G
Priests and Nuns are molesting each other
C Dm
Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist
G Am
Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist
C F
But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew
G
Cuz Easter's canceled too
Chorus
C F
No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass
G C
Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash
Am F
They canceled lent and slowed down fast
G C
Enjoy Christmas cuz it's your last
F
No shopping sprees (don't worry son)
G C
No more presents (we don't need Christ) under dead trees (we got eight nights)
Am F
St. Nick is dead (we got mitzvah) but we don't grieve (they won't cancel)
G C
We celebrate (our hanukah) the last Christmas eve