[ARCHIBALD] (Spoken)
N.C.
And now it's time for silly songs with Larry
The part of the show
Where Larry comes out and sings a silly son.
Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mister Lunt
Who together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags:
'The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything'.
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
C F
We are the pirates who don't do anything
C G
We just stay at home and lay around
C F
And if you ask us to do anything
C G
We'll just tell you...
[LARRY]
C
We don't do anything
[PA GRAPE]
C
Well, I've never been to Greenland
F
And I've never been to Denver
C G
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul
C
And I've never been to Moscow
F
And I've never been to Tampa
C G C
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
C F
We're the pirates who don't do anything
C G
We just stay at home and lay around
C F
And if you ask us to do anything
C G
We'll just tell you...
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
C
We don't do anything!
[MISTER LUNT]
C
And I've never hoist the mainstay
F
And I've never swabbed the poop deck
C
And I've never veer to starboard
G
'Cause I never sail at all
C
And I've never walked the gangplank
F
And I've never owned a parrot
C G C
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
C F
'Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything
C G
We just stay at home and lay around
C F
And if you ask us to do anything
C G C
We'll just tell you we don't do anything
[LARRY]
C
Well, I've never plucked a rooster
F
And I'm not too good at ping pong
C
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes
G
Up against the wall
C
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
F
And I've never gotten head lice
C G C
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Huh? What are you talking about?
What does a rooster or mashed potatoes
Have to do with being a pirate?
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Hey, that's right
We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
And who's ever kissed a chipmunk?
That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up?
Am I right? What do you think?
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken):
N.C.
I think you look like Cap'n Crunch.
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Huh? No I don't!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Do too!
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Do not!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
You're making me hungry.
[PA GRAPE (Spoken)
N.C.
That's it, you're walking the plank!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Says who?
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Says the Cap'n, that's who!
[MISTER LUNT] (Spoken)
N.C.
Oh yeah?
Aye, aye, Cap'n Crunch!
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
Arrrgh!
[MISTER LUN] (Spoken)
N.C.
Yikes!
[LARRY]
C
And I've never licked a spark plug
F
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
C
And I've never painted daises
G
On a big red rubber ball
C
And I've never bathed in yogurt
F
And I don't look good in leggings
[PA GRAPE] (Spoken)
N.C.
You just don't get it.
[PA GRAPE, MISTER LUNT, LARRY]
C G C
And we've never been to Boston in the fall!