[Intro]
E B7 B
(hold)
E
(Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum)
[Verse 1]
E
ARCHIBALD One day while he was waiting for the trolley
E
He had a hat
E
LARRY My high silk hat
E
ARCHIBALD He wore it high upon his head so proudly
E
A beautiful hat
LARRY My high silk hat
G#m
ARCHIBALD A hat, like this just makes him feel so grandly
Now fancy this, and fancy that
B
The splendor of his hat in all its majesty
LARRY Like a king, in a royal cap!
[Chorus]
B
I feel so swell and handsome in my hat
E
I bet that others wish they had in fact
G#m/D# C#m
BOTH A hat as this, a hat as that,
Caug C#m E/B
A hat so fine, a high silk hat…
A B E
(LARRY) Oh Mr. Art Bigotti, now what do you think of that?
E
(Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum)
[Verse 2]
E
ARCHIBALD Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly
E
I must in fact, share more than that
E
For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly
E
Of chocolate this
LARRY And chocolate that
G#m
ARCHIBALD Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy
G#m
A chocolate bliss
LARRY A chocolate snack
B
CHOIR Confections such as these are more than candy
Somewhat like life, a box of that
[Chorus 2]
B
LARRY I have my chocolate placed upon my lap
E
I feel so good you just cannot top that
G#m/D# C#m
I have my snack, a chocolate pack,
Caug C#m E/B
Of chocolate this and chocolate that…
A B E
Oh golly Mr. Nezzer, now what do you think of that?
E F
(Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum)
--- KEY CHANGE ---
[Verse 3]
F
ARCHIBALD Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter
F
Upon his hat
F
CHOIR And chocolate snack
F
ARCHIBALD So beneath his hat he thought and pondered.
LARRY What should I do, to save my hat?
Am
ARCHIBALD He thought, and contemplated as he perspired
Am
Beneath his hat
CHOIR Upon his lap
C
ARCHIBALD He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire
C
Into a pool
CHOIR A chocolate vat
[Chorus 3]
C
LARRY I won’t feel grand if I take off my hat
F
The sun's gettin' hot and my hat just might go flat.
Am/E Dm
My hat, it might go flat,
C#aug Dm F/B
And my sweets will melt like that…
A# C F
Oh hurry Mr. Trolley before my dapperness goes flat
F
(Bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum bum-ba-da-bum-bum)
[Verse 4]
F
ARCHIBALD He decided to forego his looks so dashing
F
To save his hat
F
PEA And little snack!
F
ARCHIBALD So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him
NEZZER And placed his hat on top of that
Am
LARRY Oh please (Oh please, Oh please)
Am
Don’t anybody, sit close to me (sit close to me)
Upon my hat (upon my hat)
C
I ask, if all of you could be so kindly
C
And just stand back
Away from my snack!
[Final Chorus]
C
A great big squash just sat upon my hat!
F
A great big squash just squished my hat real flat!
Am/E Dm
He squashed my hat, he made it flat,
C#aug Dm F/B
He squished my snack, oh what of that
A# C F
Oh tell me anybody now what do you think of that?
CROWD
C
A great big squash just sat upon his hat!
F
A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat!
Am/E Dm
He squashed his hat, he made it flat,
C#aug Dm
He squished his snack, oh what of that!....
(Trolley comes "ding ding")
N.C
LARRY Oh golly… uh… what is your name?
N.C
SCALLION They’ve never given me a name.
I've been around since show one and I still don't have a name.
A# C F
LARRY Now what do you think of that?