C Em D
Oh O-oh O-o-oh
G
I havent figured out a decent word
F
To take the lead of the phrase to describe this thought
G
It's a word with a "dis-" like a thick disorder
F
A disease, disappointment, disaster, distraught
C
Disruptive and draining,
D F
The paint on the walls of my brain is all flakey and peeling away
C
Foundation is shaking
D
Through smiles that im faking
F
Im achingly trying to get through each day
G C D
These struggles are backed by the fact that compassion is lacking
G C F
Like the true definition of real understanding falls flat
C G D
Theres a sky up above but I see it all shaking and cracking
G D
through the cracks I see no answer
Em G
I dont know where im at
N.C.
You're probably wondering, "uh why?
N.C.
Why would you wanna kill yourself?"
N.C.
Uh that's a great question
N.C.
It's like I hear this relentless buzzing, and it just gets louder, and louder and LOUBER
G
As it start to build, you cant look down
F
Standing off, clench your jaw, you lost sight of normal
G
Try to stay somewhere safe like your childhood memories
F G F
Too bad you cant escape the mental thunderstorm
G
The days on repeat,
D
Every week with a shrink
G F
Face-to-face with a doctor whose interest depleted
G D
Sessions complete with the same stupid question
G F
All therapists ask without skipping a beat
G
With zero finesse,
D
Every shrink has expressed
F G
Their endorsement of pills that make life less depressing
G
Addressing my stresses
D
And pressures
G D F
Subjectively seems like what doctors might do when theyre guessing
Em C D
Seventeen years and emotions are scattered and raging
Em C
Numbing the pain with the pill
G
Till stabilitys flat
F C D
But numbing the pain is just dumbing me down, nothings changing
G D
Im staring blankly at the walls
Em G
I dont know where im at
N.C.
And you think!
N.C.
Getting older will make ALL of this easier.
N.C.
It doesnt.
N.C.
Getting older just means more responsibilities.
N.C.
And more responsibilities, less help.
D Em
Frustrations turn into a dim-lit light
C
On in the middle of a room at night
G
Cant see the little bit of glow,
B
No
Em
Wrong or right, no one seems to bother asking
C G
If we might need a little middle-of-a-road
D
How could you know?
C
I guess you had to be there
D C
I guess you had to be there
Em G
And that's just where im at
F C
Always scared of my potential
F C
Never get how im essential
Em G
Yeah thats where im at
F C
Where youre force-fed what they hand you
F C
Where your friends dont understand you
Em G
Wrong or right, no one seems to bother asking
C D G
If we might need a little middle-of-the-road
D
How could you know
Em G
Just where im at
F C
Where your friends dont care about you
F C
Where theyre better off without you
Em G
Look at where im at
F C
Where your mom and dad dont get you
F C
Try to live but then forget to
C Em D
Oh O-oh O-o-oh
C Em D
Oh O-oh O-o-oh
C
Can you blame me?
Em
I know this cant be right
D
I stomach down and no wonder I lost my appetite
C
They try to save me
Em
No one keeps me up at night
N.C.
They think they know whats best for me
N.C.
But they dont know
Em G
Where im at!
N.C.
To sum up, im 17 years old.
N.C.
I dont know anything about most things but here's what i do know.
Em G
(Where im at!)
N.C.
Im a literal piece of wallpaper!
N.C.
A cog in a wheel in a machine thats irrelevant.
Em G
(Where im at!)
N.C.
I have enough anxiety to fill a crater in the moon. And im running out of options.
N.C.
Or maybe, ive already run out.
Em
Burnt-down light, up in the attic
C
So youre up all night
G
Put out the little bit of glow
B
So
Em
Thats just life, thrown in the middle of a
C
Losing fight,
G
Stuck but theyre forcing us to grow
D
So
Em
Dim-lit light
C
On in the middle of a room at night
G
Cant see the little bit of glow
B
So
Em
No wrong or right
C
No one seems to bother asking if we might
G
Need a little middle-of-the-road
D
How could you know?
C
I guess you had to be there
N.C.
Hi! Im Craig Gilner
N.C.
I always look like im about to cry
N.C.
So I move the muscles on my face to make me smile!
N.C.
And that's my life!
Em G
Yeah, this is where im at!
G
Any questions?