Tuning: Standard (e B G D A E)
Dm Am
Down the river drifts an axe
E Am
From the town of Byron
Dm Am
Let it float by itself-
E Am
Fucking piece of iron!!!
Dm Am
I was sleeping with my honey
E Am
Abs?lutely naked,
Dm Am
I have taken my panties off
E Am
Just to make a statement.
Dm Am
Fish in thick tomato sauce
E Am
Swims in happy comatose
Dm Am
Only me, pathetic wimp
E Am
Have no fucking place to swim.
Dm Am
Starlet’s fallen from the heavens
E Am
Right into my boyfriend's briefs,
Dm Am
I don't mind his roasted penis
E Am
If it helps us live in peace.
Dm Am
Girls have called me to the party
E Am
I decided not to come,
Dm Am
It's because my clothes are ugly
E Am
And my dick is a tiny one.
Dm Am
Time has shifted for an hour —
E Am
What a mess on globe
Dm Am
Dick was hard before wakeup,
E Am
Now it's up at work.
Dm Am
In a tree a duck got stuck
E Am
Noble eagle fucked that duck
Dm Am
You can hear branches crack
E Am
Sqeaky-dick and fucky-quack!
Dm Am
Guy Miron shows such a trick:
E Am
Crow is sitting on his dick
Dm Am
And as soon as starts to croak -
E Am
Has he boner on his cock
Dm Am
Old Ivan Ilyich and I
E Am
Used to work at a CI
Dm Am
He’s a fuckhead, so am I
E Am
Someone’s filched our CI.
Dm Am
You are fine if you are steadfast
E Am
In relations with milkmaid.
Dm Am
You get wholesome milky breakfast
E Am
And occasionally laid.
Dm Am
Nick is crossing village slowly —
E Am
Outside it is cold and snowy.
Dm Am
But his dick is up and running
E Am
Just in case if something’s coming.
Dm Am
Girls had a fight at country hut
E Am
Over who got hairiest cunt.
Dm Am
Well, more hair of the most
E Am
Had the beaver of the host.
Dm Am
You were mine the other day,
E Am
Mike is screwing you today.
Dm Am
He’s got cock as thick as trees
E Am
On the Shishkin’s masterpiece.
Dm Am
Have you seen four dicks together
E Am
Dancing on a mountain peak?
Dm Am
And one dick had fucked another
E Am
But with yet another dick.
Dm Am
My advice to future bride:
E Am
Don’t get married, silly!
Dm Am
Morning comes — your boobs aside,
E Am
Snatch is rumpled illy.
Dm Am
Nick is sitting at the door,
E Am
Neither dancing, singing nor,
Dm Am
He is sitting, deaf and dumb,
E Am
Thinking only "Whom to hump?"
Dm Am
Coffee pot’s a bit unstable
E Am
Dishes fall around
Dm Am
Fucking on a little table
E Am
Makes a lot of sound
Dm Am
Two of us — me and my buddy
E Am
Giving gifts to everybody
Dm Am
You get daughter, you get son
E Am
Patriotic duty’s done
Dm Am
Wife is telling her old man:
E Am
"Book me U.S. fare!"
Dm Am
"Stupid cunt! Don’t think you can —
E Am
Trains aren’t going there!"
Dm Am
I was in a horny mood
E Am
And I blew Stepan
Dm Am
He is smart and looking good,
E Am
Salty on the tongue
Dm Am
Kids are asking uncle Peck:
E Am
Why’s there wire on your neck?
Dm Am
Uncle has no words to spare
E Am
Swinging calmly in the air.