Do You Swear To Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth, So Help Your Black Ass by Amanda Palmer, tabs and chords at PlayUkuleleNET

Do You Swear To Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth, So Help Your Black Ass

by Amanda Palmer

Biography:

Amanda MacKinnon Gaiman Palmer is an American vocalist, pianist and performance artist, best known for her work as one half of The Dresden Dolls. Born in 1976, she grew up in Lexington, Massachusetts and received her B.A. from Wesleyan University. She attended Lexington High School, where she was very involved in the drama department. Amanda sometimes has Lexington High School students perform drama pieces at her shows. Before she was in the Dresden Dolls, she was in a band called "Amanda Palmer and the Void".

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Alternatives for this artist

G Dm
When I was six years old my sister Alyson
F C
Asked for a stove for her birthday
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A miniature one you could actually cook with
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And my mom was nice and she bought one

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Alyson needed a reason to bake something
F C
Barged in my room and she grabbed me
She said
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I made a cake and we're going next door
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To sam weinstein's and you're getting married

G
the cake was burned
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it tasted gross
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she made me kiss him
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on the mouth

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now i am 33
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unmarried happily
F C G
no plans in life and i'm planning to keep it that way
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i do kissing with only one mission
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do you like to kiss then you have my permission

G Dm
and i have already spent too much time
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doing things i didn't want to
G Dm
so if i just want to make out all the time
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you can bet your black ass that i'm going to

G Dm
When I was nine I was kind of a loser
F C
The kids in my class didn't like me
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Melanie chow was the meanest of all
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And my mom made me go to her party

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Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
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Drawing with crayons on a napkin
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A picture of melanie skewered with a pitchfork
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Her legs getting eaten by lions

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The cake was good
Dm
I took some home
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I had a party
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In my room

G Dm
Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
F C G
But I go to bars all alone and I sit there
Dm F C
And order red wine and I write and I like being alone around people
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Yes that's how I like it

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and i have already spent too much time
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doing things i didn't want to
G Dm
So if I wanna sit here and write and drink wine
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you can bet your black ass that i'm going to

G Dm
yes i come here often
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sure i'll have another one
G Dm
yes i come here often
F C
sure i'll have another one
but i don't have to talk to you

G Dm
When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
F C
Picking up tips from the masters
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I was so busy perfecting my art I was clueless to what they were after
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Now I'm still a blowjob queen far more selectively
G Dm
I don't make love now to make people love me
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But I don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
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We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic

G Dm
When I was I was a rock star
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But it didn't pay too well I had to strip on the side
G Dm F
Of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
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Baby they'd never know
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What a bargain they'd gotten
Dm
And if I'm forgotten
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I'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
G Dm
And I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
F C
I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me

G Dm
and i've already spent too much time
F C
doing things i didn't want to

G
so if i want to drink alone
Dm
dressed like a pirate
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or look like a dyke
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or wear high heels and lipstick
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or hide in a convent
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or try to be mayor
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or marry a writer
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smoke crack and slash tires
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make jokes you don't like
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or paint ducks and retire
F C
YOU CAN BET YOUR BLACK ASS THAT I'M GOING TO

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