[Intro]
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I'm gonna tell you this story that I once read,
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About this cowboy who was a little messed up in the head,
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For starters he went by this weirdo name of Odysseus,
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Now Odysseus weren't no cowboy name,
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But he sure could play that cowboy game,
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He could rope and ride and he could throw a real mean discus.
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He was headed home from some far-off land,
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Like Mississippi or Tex-Arkana,
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He was trying to get to Ithaca, in New York State,
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Met this dude named Poseidon that almost drowned him,
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But this chick named Ino came along and found him?
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I didn't really get that part anyway.
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What I liked is when he met this girl named Circe, you know
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She was all hot and bothered and ready to go,
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She invited all of his friends on over for supper.
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Turned his buddies into pigs, and that's a fact,
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So he made love to her and she turned 'em back,
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I guess he was pretty good in the sack or something.
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Odyss- -eus, why did you have to go?
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Odyss- -eus, what- -ever did you know?
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Odysseus, was hard, Odysseus was fast,
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That cowboy could really kick some ass.
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Well he wasn't really sure which way to head,
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So for directions he went to the kingdom of the dead,
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I ain't sure where that is, but it sounds like Florida.
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His momma lived there and she said hi,
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He said no momma, I'm here to see this other guy,
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She said well, you're a real find son, then, aren't you?
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Finally he found this guy that knew the way,
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He said now listen close to what I gotta say,
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It's a long hard ride and you'll probably never even get there.
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And all your friends they're all gonna die,
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And all you're gonna wanna do is sit and cry,
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And Odysseus said now, hold up , I make a left where?
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So he packed his bags and he saddled up,
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And he was headed out of town past this little club,
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And from inside he heard this girl band called the Sirens,
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Well he wanted to stay and hear a few,
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But his buddies said no, man, we gotta move,
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So he threw this big old tantrum but then he got on back to riding.
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When he got home all of these men were there,
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Eating all the food from his Frigidaire,
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And not just two or three, but like forty- -something.
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They was hitting on his wife and making a scene,
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So he killed them all and got away clean,
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Didn't even have to do community service or nothing.
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His wife said I been so faithful babe,
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And he said uh?. uh?. me too.
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Except for that girl in that cave and a couple more,
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And that beautiful woman on that island shore?
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For like two years?.
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Anyways, baby, I been so faithful in my heart