Biography:
Jon Lajoie, born and raised in Montreal, Canada, is the third in a family of nine children. He graduated from Dawson College’s theatre/ninja assassin program in 2001, and immediately started booking assassination work, incidentally putting his acting career on the back burner. Between 2001 and 2007 Jon Lajoie assassinated (in a ninja-like fashion) an estimated 40 000 people, and an estimated 9000 fish (in early 2004 demand for assassination was low, so for 3 months, he held a part-time job as a fisherman).
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D
It's your birthday today,
what does that mean? I guess I'll try to explain,
G
that twenty-one years ago on this day,
A D
it was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face,
and nine months before that magical day,
your dad probably took your mom out on a date,
G
and they were having a good time,
D
they were dancing and drinking wine,
(optional chorus used on an episode of The League)
D G A
happy birthday,
A D G
happy birthday,
G A D
happy birthday,
D
and when they got home they were horny as hell,
and your dad threw your mom down on the bed,
G
and he tore her panties off,
D
and his penis was hard as a rock,
and then your mom really wanted to give your dad head,
but your dad also wanted to give your mom head,
G
so they formed a sixty-nine,
D
and your mom came at least three times,
D
and then your dad was so excited to get inside your mom,
that he forgot to put a condom on,
G
and when he realized his mistake,
A D
he had ejaculated and it was too late,
D G A
and then your mom got pregnant,
D G
and your dad started crying,
D A
he wanted your mom to get an abortion,
D G
but your mom wanted a child,
A
and nine months later your were born,
G A D
and five months later your parents got a divorce
It's your birthday today,
what does that mean? I guess I'll try to explain,
G
that twenty-one years ago on this day,
A D
it was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face,
and nine months before that magical day,
your dad probably took your mom out on a date,
G
and they were having a good time,
D
they were dancing and drinking wine,
(optional chorus used on an episode of The League)
D G A
happy birthday,
A D G
happy birthday,
G A D
happy birthday,
D
and when they got home they were horny as hell,
and your dad threw your mom down on the bed,
G
and he tore her panties off,
D
and his penis was hard as a rock,
and then your mom really wanted to give your dad head,
but your dad also wanted to give your mom head,
G
so they formed a sixty-nine,
D
and your mom came at least three times,
D
and then your dad was so excited to get inside your mom,
that he forgot to put a condom on,
G
and when he realized his mistake,
A D
he had ejaculated and it was too late,
D G A
and then your mom got pregnant,
D G
and your dad started crying,
D A
he wanted your mom to get an abortion,
D G
but your mom wanted a child,
A
and nine months later your were born,
G A D
and five months later your parents got a divorce
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