[Intro]
G
I don't care if it rains or freezes
C
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
G D
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
G
Comes in colors pink and pleasant,
C
Glows in the dark cause he’s iridescent
G D G
Take Him with you when you're travelling far
[Chorus]
G C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Through my trials and tribulations,
C
And my travels ‘cross the nation,
G D G
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
[Verse]
G
When I'm in a traffic jam
C
He don't care if I say Damn
G D
I can let all sorts of curses roll
G
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
C
For he has a plastic ear
G D G
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
[Alt chorus]
G C
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
G D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Once his robe was snowy white
C
Now it isn't quite so bright
G D G
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
[Verse]
G
If I weave around at night
C
And the police think I'm tight
G D
I don’t worry that they’ll find my stash
G
Plastic Jesus shelters me
C
For His head comes off, you see
G D G
And voila, I have a secret flask
[Alt chorus]
G C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Ride with me and have a dram
C
Of the blood of the Lamb
G D G
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar
[Verse]
G
When my babe and I go parkin’
C
Fornicating in the dark
G D
I don’t have to think she’ll get PG
G
I have no worries and no cares
C
Because the raincoat that he wears
G D G
Serves a dual purpose, don’t you see
[Alt chorus]
G C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
He don’t slip and he don’t slide
C
Because his ass is magnetized
G D G
Sittin on the dashboard of my car
[Verse]
G
Riding home one foggy night,
C
With my honey cuddled tight,
G D
I missed a curve and off the road we veered.
G
My windshield, it got smashed-up good,
C
And my darling graced the hood.
G D G
Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared.
[Alt chorus]
G C
Plastic Jesus! Plastic Jesus,
G D
No longer chides me with His holy grin.
G
Doctors in the X-ray room
C
Found Him in my darling's womb.
G D G
Someday, maybe he'll be born again!
[Outro]
G C
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
G D
Riding on the dashboard of my car
G
Through my trials and tribulations,
C
And my travels ‘cross the nation,
G D G
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.