National Shite Day by Half Man Half Biscuit, tabs and chords at PlayUkuleleNET

National Shite Day

Biography:

Half Man Half Biscuit, often abbreviated to "HMHB", are an indie rock band from Birkenhead, England, active sporadically since the 1984, known for its satirical, sardonic, and sometimes surreal songs. The group consists of Nigel Blackwell (lead vocals, guitar), Neil Crossley (bass), Ken Hancock (lead guitar), and Carl Henry (drums). Throughout their career they have been signed to Probe Plus records.

The band's first single, The Trumpton Riots, topped the British Independent Chart in 1986

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Four years of hard work!

This month of May we celebrated four years on the air. We continue working on the dissemination of this wonderful instrument, thank you for participating in our story!

D Am C F, D Am C F

D Am C
Pulling the ice axe from my leg, I staggered on
F D Am C F
Spindrift stinging my remaining eye
D Am
I finally managed to reach the station
C F D Am C F
Only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down
D Am
After wondering to myself whether or not it should
C F
Actually be called a train replacement service
D Am
I walked out onto the concourse
C F D
And noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with
Am C F
Probably by a junior employee.
D Am C F
Disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal TVM
D Am C
Involving a tug-of-love custody battle;
F D Am C F D Am C F
Stockard Channing held sway.
D Am C
Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots
F
Without due care or attention
D Am C
I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette
F D Am C F D Am C F
I.e. sidle out of the store gingerly - embrace the margin.
D Am C F D Am C F
Fat kids with sausage rolls, poor sods conducting polls.
D Am C F D Am C F
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets.
D Am
I try to put everything into perspective,
C F
Set it against the scale of human suffering
D Am
And I thought of the Mugabe government
C F
And the children of the Calcutta railways
D Am C F
This works for a while but then I encounter Primark FM
D Am C F E
Overhead a rainbow appears - in black and white.
D Am C F D Am C
Shite Day, I guess this must be National Shite Day
F D Am C
This surely must be National Shite Day
F D Am C F (Inst D Am C F x8)
Don't tell me it's National Shite Day.
D Am C F D Am C F D Am C F
Float, float on. Float, float on
D Am C F D Am C F
Barry Herpes.
D Am
I got a letter from Stringy Bob
C F
"Still on suicide watch, screws not happy.
D Am C
Spotted a Marsh Fritillary during Association
F D Am C F
Was roundly ignored; what news you?"
D Am
I felt sorry for him
C F
He'd only been locked up for public nuisance offences
D Am C
One of which saw him beachcombing the Dee Estuary
F D Am
Found a dead wading bird, took it home, parcelled it up
C F
And sent it off to the rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool
D Am C F D Am C F
With a note inside which read: "Is this your Sanderling?"
D Am C F
Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press
D Am C F
"Keyboard player required - Doors, Floyd, etc.
D Am C F D Am C F
Must be committed; no time wasters" - you can guess the rest.
D Am C F
I'd always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills
D Am C F
To be found months later, his carcass stripped by homeless dogs
D Am C F D Am C F
His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow
D Am C F
I folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket
D Am C F D Am C F
All of a sudden I felt brushed by the wings of something dark
D Am C F E
May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob.
D Am C F D Am C
Shite Day, I do believe it's National Shite Day
F D Am C
It all points to National Shite Day
F D Am C F E
Someone's declared it National Shite Day.
D Am C F D Am C
Shite Day, my birthday on National Shite Day
F D Am C
No bog roll, it's National Shite Day
F D Am C F (D Am C F to fade)
Cue drum roll, it's National Shite Day.