I'll tell you a story believe me it's true
a tale you'd best hope never happens to you
old spicy mcHaggis how he met his fate
you I can save but for him it's too late
G C
Spicy was big burly and strong
G D
his pipes were gigantic and so was his schlong
G C
from city to city running around
G D
Always looking for chicks over four hundred pounds
G C
One night at the pub a girl caught his eye
G D
big as a house just the right size
G C
the broad was enormous stacked to the hilt
D G
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
G C
the piper delivered his best pick-up line
G D
thought to himself this beast is all mine
G C
the portly young lady could stand for no more
D G
grabbed his cojones and went for the door
G C
They got to her house and dimmed all the lights
G D
Spicy was in for one hell of a night
G C
he said that he loved her he'd always be true
But Mr McHaggis I've only just met you
G C
By now he saw double through his drunken eyes
G D
neither had looks or appropriate size
G C
he came to his senses thought to himself
D G
At this time of night I won't find nothing else
G C
he took off his shirt she lifted her skirt
G D
they pulled out his unit and stared to flirt
G C
she asked for a glove he gave her a shove
D G
had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day
your gonna use the same slide as the intro for SPICY
SPICY SPICY SPICY SPICY SPICY SPICY SPICY SPICY
G C
One night at the pub a girl caught his eye
G D
big as a house just the right size
G C
the broad was enormous stacked to the hilt
D G
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
G C
the piper delivered his best pick-up line
G D
thought to himself this beast is all mine
G C
the portly young lady could stand for no more
D G
grabbed his cojones and went for the door
G C
Three packs a day he'll smoke 'til he dies
G D G
Spicy McHaggis one hell of a guy
I don't know what you all are talking about and who drank all my beer