Intro
C, F, C, G, F, C, G, F, C
C
I play in a band
F C
We're the best in the land
G
We're big in both Chelsea and France
F C F C
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
F C G
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
C F C
So come on now honey I'll make you feel pretty
G
These other gals mean nothing to me
F C F C
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
F C Am
Cause I'm more than a handfull you'll see
[Chorus:]
F C
So kiss me I'm shitfaced
F C G F
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and brown in the trousers
C
She kissed me
G F C
And I only bought her one round
C
I can bench press a car
F C
I'm an ex football star
G
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
F C
Girls just can't keep up
F C
I'm a really love machine
F C G
I've had far better sex while in jail
C
I designed the Sears tower
F C
I make two grand an hour
G
I cook the world's best duck flambe
F C
I'll take the pick of the litter
F C
And girls jockey for me
F C Am
I don't need these lines to get laid
[Chorus]
C
I'm the man of the night
F C
A real ladies delight
G
See my figure was chisled from stone
F C F C
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
F C G
Come last call I'm never alone
C F C
I own a house on the hill with a red water bed
G
It puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
F C F C
With girls by the pool and italian sports cars
F C Am
I'm just here in this dump for the game
[Chorus x2]
Ahh fuck it Who am I shittin'
C
I'm a pitiful sight
F C
And I ain't all that bright
G
I'm definitly not chisled from stone
F C
I'm a cheat and a liar
F C
No woman's desire
F G C
I'll probably die cold and alone
C
But just give me a chance
F
Cause deep down inside
G>
I swear I got a big heart of gold
C
I'm a monogamous man
F
No more one night stands
G>
Come on honey let me take you home
[Chorus x4]